So far it seems to be going OK, but we still have a long way to go. There is a new breed coming. Youngsters
are already stepping up and attempting to make a name for themselves as legends. And of
course we have some advice to offer. Heartfelt and well considered advice
coming from the depth of our love for the sport and wealth of cricketing
know-how...
Get some decent nicknames! The Australian
team has been cruising along on talent for far too long, and it’s just
not good enough!
We are children of the 1980s, when Clive “Super
Cat” Lloyd’s Windies scared the living daylights out of Kim Hughes’ sobbing
pack of girls’ blouses. It wasn’t due to their prowess with bat and ball, but
rather their fearsome nicknames such as the Master Blaster and Whispering Death.
The long history of the Australian team has instead put forward rather pathetic
offers - AB, Tubby, Tangles, Chappelli, Tugga - and the list rolls embarrassingly
on.
Eventually the world is going to notice that we are nowhere near as impressive as our match-winning record would have them believe. We want the kids of today to gasp in awe when our players stride onto the pitch. It’s too late for the old guys. They are stuck with Punter, Dizzy and Bing. But we can save the new recruits. So from now on Phil Jacques will be known as ‘Sledgehammer’, Mitchell Johnson is ‘Crusher’ and Ben Hilfenhaus is ‘The Widowmaker’. That oughta do it.
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